god is a fire in the head

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:05:55 GMT

i would like to rescind all my secrets and be invisible to you--for as long as it takes me to gather myself. just as long as it takes me to put it all in place and make art with life. you know, i truly believe that's what it comes down to: painted pottery days. large canvas spaces of earthy colors, copper tones, and history, so much history, a signifier of acculturation and ornamentation. i'm okay with that though, on some level, about being reduced to your pride. it's not petty. it fulfills a need. the trusting need to be wanted that projects itself in all of life's neurosis. "not bullshit-able like english and poli sci," he says. good writing cannot be bullshitted. words have to have form and convention and at best you can mimic your way into acknowledgment but it's never good the way goodness is timeless and wreaks of absolution. it's alright though; the insufficiency you impose on me has a haunting habit of lingering, force-fed by insecurity. meh. it's 7 in the morning and i don't like black coffee or cigarettes that much, so i guess it makes no sense to ramble. there's something to be said about composure. something.

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 17:22:36 GMT

fighting deamons. learning to love.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 20:02:52 GMT

breathe: like it is conscious, cultivated, calculated. as though you are aware of precisely what you are about to take in, what you are about to let go of; mediate between savage intuition and the restraint of the colonized mind.

breathe: as though to bring rhythm, pulse, heartbeat, throb to the empty whole; your genius has been unleashed upon. dissipated between particles of time is the movement in your chest, a steady penetration of your presencing. how phallic.

breathe: you are born, reborn, unborn, in one continuous motion. recognize your simultaneous disappearance, your existential fragmentation. you are nothing-being acted upon by life-force, your insignificance surges as peace-force.

breathe: or do not breathe; appropriate your space, you-space. claim ownership over the intake over the exhale over your right to engage--or not engage. your humanity is threadbare, the frailty generated from ambivalence. stand up.

breathe: with a creased brow, heavy heart; you feel exile and anger. there is refuge to be sought in the shadow spaces of identity. people will come, they will go; do not let them take from you that which is yours--you are a monster, you deserve rage.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 14:17:55 GMT

you have your world, i have mine.
you keep your love, i'll keep mine.

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:04:03 GMT

scream and thrash and scream and thrash and no i guess it's pointless.

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 06:33:51 GMT

things fray.

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 16:59:47 GMT

stand up for yourself stand up for yourself stand up for yourself stand up for yourself stand up